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Monday, July 26, 2010

THE MATCHUP: "The Chaaaaampions... Preliminaaaaary"

C.D. Motagua President and logo model Aguilas Azules

TORONTO FC (CAN) VS. C.D. MOTAGUA (HON)
 
BMO Field - Tuesday, 8:00PM ET
TV: GOL TV

 
While it may never be a midweek evening at the San Siro, Nou Camp or Old Trafford, the CONCACAF Champions League is our home continent equivalent and it makes its second stop in two years at BMO Field. Hopefully this time around for more than one match.
 
Toronto FC host Honduras' C.D.Motagua amidst signs of yet another summer swoon. Results and effort have been less than stellar as of late and TFC will have to step up their game if they are to advance to the group stage and not fall as they did in last year's preliminary to Puerto Rico Islanders.
 
Motagua are a far superior club than Puerto Rico was and TFC need to dominate at home in preparation for a second leg in Tegucigalpa which will have an atmosphere that TFC has not seen in any MLS city. If Preki demands more defence-only 1-0 turtle "Preki-ball" and thinks the road-useless TFC will get points in the Honduran 2nd leg, he is sadly mistaken. His nemesis and Motagua star, Amado "I Used to Play Here" Guevara would love to make it happen.
 
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "El Tegucironto"
 
RED-NAPS: Maicon Santos, Stefan Frei, Chad Barrett
BLUE EAGLES: Amado Guevara, Georgie Welcome, Marcelo Cabrita
 
THE ODDS:
- TFC taking the lead 1-0 then Preki putting entire MLSE organization on defence immediately: 2-1
- Amado Guevara and Preki "hugging it out": 500-1
- Mista angering the Central Americans by referring to self as "El Conquistador": 10-1
- Bored/ drunk TFC supporters singing "The Chaaaaampions..." (a la UEFA): 5-1
 
WHO ARE YA?
- Motagua nickname "Los Mimados" (The Loved Ones) won CONCACAF's "Creepiest Nickname Award" three years in a row
- "The Welcome Cousins" are not a Mormon folk-rock duo but in fact Georgie and Shannon Welcome - cousins and Motagua forwards
- Such is the excitement in Tegucigalpa for this match that all Dog and/or Cock fights have been postponed until five minutes after the final whistle
- One of CDM's supporters groups "JAH" (Justice, Love and Humbleness) is actually religious based and claim their trips are paid by God. TFC supporters know God from constantly holding their heads and muttering his name
 
PREKI-BALL SAYS: 1-0 Toronto
GUEVARA-GOLS SAY: 2-1 Motagua
HEADLINE: "TEGUCI-GULP-A"

"The Loved Ones". Okaaay.

2 comments:

  1. What, is Club de Desportas Cobresal a team of lesbian construction workers?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha! Ha! Yes!!! That is the perfect description I've been waiting for! They are indeed the lesbian Village People of the Chilean league.

    ReplyDelete