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Friday, October 8, 2010

THE MATCHUP: Chivas USA VS. Underachievas CDN

Ugh, 10:30PM kick-off? Make mine a double

CHIVAS USA (15th) VS. TORONTO FC (10th)
 
Home Depot Center - Saturday 10:30PM ET
TV: GOL TV RADIO: THE FAN 590

 
Here's a bit of long-weekend philosophy: if two poor football teams with nothing to play for; play a match in front of few fans who could care less; broadcasted on a channel that hardly anyone gets... does it still exist? Deep. I know.
 
Don't expect this match to be leading any MLS weekend highlight packages as both teams play out the string while plummeting down the table. The irony isn't lost that the two clubs are also the two most recent posts of Predrag Radosavljevic. While both teams struggle to break free from their Prekiball tenures, his legacy (especially in player acquisitions) remains. There will be more plumbers on the field than your average game of Super Mario Bros.
 
Luckily for TFC fans, it looks as if our White Knight has arrived in the form of "Interim" Director Earl Cochrane. During "Smooth" Earl's Q & A session on TFC's website, the increasingly less "interim" director said that next year will be much different. Phew. What a relief! We can all sleep easy. In between corporation quotes Cochrane said that TFC 2011 will be a "very different team - young, organized, committed and quick - entertaining to watch". Wow! Great news Earl! ML$E should just make you Director now! They are? Great!... Good grief.
 
Let's see... young, organized, committed and quick. Umm that leaves... Sam Cronin? Oh yeah... Earthquakes. Yay! An all new team then!
 
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Preki Legacy"
 
GOATS WHO BLOW: Maykel Galindo, Jonathan Bornstein, Ante Jazic
BLOWING GOATS: Dwayne De Rosario, Stefan Frei, Chad Barrett
 
THE ODDS:
- Two Post-Preki teams refusing to play any defence at all out of spite: 5-1
- Earl Cochrane to miss match due to scratching the word "Interim" off of his office door: 4-1
- Combined LA and Toronto TV ratings for match almost equal to ratings for Commonwealth Games Men's Field Hockey: 2-1
 
WHO ARE YA?
- ML$E's never-ending quest to expand their empire includes plans to field a Canadian-esque team in Mexico called "Beavas CDN"
- Halftime show at Home Depot Center to invite fans of both clubs to hit a giant "Preki" piñata full of hard to swallow Serbian candy
- ML$E is planning to meet with corporate stadium sponsors Home Depot to set up a new cross promotion - "Home Depot and Toronto FC: Rebuilding Since Day One"
 
THE GOATS SAY: 2-1 Chivas USA
LOS BEAVERS SAY: 3-2 Toronto
HEADLINE: "RUMOURS OF SOCCER MATCH YET TO BE CONFIRMED"

Team of plumbers

1 comment:

  1. After reviewing the Cochrane interview and Dasovic's recent statements and fully cognizant of Anselmi's thought process and reviewing this against the backdrop of ML$E corporate culture.........I'm out.

    Hey folks welcome to Earl "the slick Pearl" Cochrane as your new GM. Nicki "the anti-Preki" Dasovic as coach 2011. Anselmi you suck. I hate engineers. Shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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