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Friday, May 13, 2011

THE MATCHUP: Great Lakes. Not great clubs.


TORONTO FC (13th) VS. CHICAGO FIRE (16th)
 
BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 7PM ET
TV: GOLTV RADIO: FAN 590
 
Saturday sees Chicago Fire visit BMO Field in the unofficial "Dichioversary" of that famous match in 2007 where Danny Dichio scored the club's first goal and something happened with seat cushions. If only there was a song to sing every match ad nauseam to remember it! Fast forward four years and TFC is still in a building process - one that hit a stumbling block in Dallas. Aron Winter has been angrily (and justifiably) slating MLS referees for their part in the loss while glossing over the fact that TFC's 2nd Half response to going down by a goal was abysmal. BMO Field will have to be the resource for TFC points as road wins seem few and far between... again.
 
Having an equally bad go of things this year is Chicago Fire. The club that famously won the MLS Cup in its first year of existence missed the playoffs last year for the first time since 2004 and has started this season 1-4-3. Manager Carlos de la Cabos is starting to feel the Illinois heat as Fire are winless in 6 and are coming off a tepid scoreless draw at home to Vancouver. For either club, a loss will seem devastating.
 
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Great Lake Lollygagger"
 
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO FC: Julian de Guzman, Stefan Frei, Tony Tchani
CHICAGO FIRE: Diego Chaves, Dominic Oduro, Marco Pappa
 
THE ODDS
- Bob de Klerk angrily suplexing a referee midfield: 10-1
- John Carver showing up at BMO Field to commiserate with Aron Winter: 100-1
- After four years, TFC supporters ironically refusing to sing "The Dichio Song" in the 24th minute of the match: 5000-1
 
WHO ARE YA?
- The so-called "Dichioversary" gives TFC fans a chance to reflect on how things have improved since that memorable day. Like how much better.... umm. Oh! What about when... no that's not good... Remember when we won.... wait... that wasn't us. DeRo? Oh, yeah. Shall we just sing then?
- Be sure to get to BMO Field early as the Canadian Institute for the Blind will present the Major League Soccer referees union with a special award for competency in the workplace
- Former TFC goalkeeper / giant human, Jon Conway may be weary of returning to Toronto with the Fire after parting on bad terms. The huge shotstopper, apparently angered by his trade, dressed as Godzilla and rampaged down Yonge St. causing millions in damage and frightening the local Japanese community
 
DUTCH-ENGLISH PRONUNCIATION OF THE MATCH
"Bob, do not be shuplexshing de refereeshe!"
 
LAKE ONTARIO SAYS: 1-0 Toronto FC
LAKE MICHIGAN SAYS: 0-0 Draw
HEADLINE: "LAST REMAINING SEAT CUSHION TOSSED IN DISGUST"

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