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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

#TFCDreamJob / #5YearPlan

Bio Pic: You can use either...

In their latest effort to win back some of the fans lost to years of mediocrity, Toronto FC is running a competition to win the "Toronto FC Dream Job". Fans are being welcomed to enter a bio online and garner votes in a bid to land a coveted role with the club. The winner will earn the chance to follow the team around for a year and do fun jobs which may or may not include finding where Collin Samuel hid all those Twinkies, renting Rutger Hauer movies for Bob de Klerk and sitting next to Ty Harden on the team bus. Sadly though, the competition may be over before it starts as this very attractive application has been uncovered...
 
#TFCDreamJob Application: Maurice J.
 
My name is Maurice J. (Mo to friends) and I want the #TFCDreamJob!
 
I’m perfect for the job since I know lots about soccer such as "mastering" the draft, how agents fill your roster in 2 easy steps and of course… 5-Year Plans.
 
I have lived around the world in places like Glasgow, then Nantes, then to the other side of Glasgow and make acquaintances wherever I go. People hardly ever throw things at me anymore!
 
If I get the #TFCDreamJob I will definitely have good relationships with the players. I think the best way to build a bond with a player is to make them a huge promise, wait for them to be your friend, then not talk to them again for 2 years!
 
I promise to work hard at keeping my job. I promise to show up when things are going well and stay well out of sight whenever a crisis arises. If things go bad, then I simply hire someone to do my old job while calling myself #TFCDreamJobDirector. But don’t worry – I won’t really let the new guy make any decisions of his own!
 
If this doesn’t work out…. Is there a #MLSAnyJob competition starting soon?
 
REFERENCES:
P. Radosavljevic – soccer personality/ angry Serb
B. MacLean – businessman / BFF
R. Hscanovics – former soccer player/ my butler

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