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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

THE MATCHUP: "It ain't easy beating Cheesy"

"It's the cheesiest!"

MONTREAL VS. TORONTO
 
STADE SAPUTO - WEDNESDAY 7:30PM ET
TV: TSN ----RADIO: THE FAN 590
 
THE KICKABOUT:
Let's look in the mirror for a second and be honest. Yes, we all hate L'Impact du Montreal dans la Bibliotheque FC but there is more than a tinge of envy when we look at them. It's not their superior record, their 3/4 good stadium, or even the debut of Marco Di Vaio on Wednesday - it's the one thing they have which we can't - an owner who wants to win. Put your personal feelings aside over Joey Saputo and know that Toronto FC would be a much different club with a similarly egomaniacal millionaire in charge who simply wants to fill a trophy case instead of a bloated bottom line.
 
But alas, we are not The Cheesemakers and the quest continues up the 401 as "The MarinEra" rolls on trying to steady the bad ship TFC. While the last two matches have left Reds supporters on a roller-coaster that ultimately crashes into the station, things have actually changed. Completely for the better? Only time will tell but those calling for Paul Mariner's head already need some bed rest. Mariner has polarized a few fans but he is likely a victim of circumstance in the way he ended up becoming manager. The chops are there for him to make a go of it and the transfer window should be very interesting. Plus... a manager in shorts!
 
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The 401 Derby IV: The Curdenning"
 
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
MONTREAL: Patrice Bernier, Marco Di Vaio, Donovan Ricketts
TORONTO: Julian de Guzman, Danny Koevermans, Ashtone Morgan
 
THE ODDS:
- TFC not playing very Gouda: 2-1
- Montreal exposing our Swiss cheese defence: 3-1
- Reds not doing Edam in the last 20 minutes: 5-1
 
WHO ARE YA?
Due to their owner’s dairy connections, Impact are playing in a simultaneous league to MLS this year after gaining entry to the SuperCheesa, an international division devoted to cheese-related clubs. It has been a slow start for Montreal as you can see from the table so far:

1. RED LEICESTER CITY - 23pts.
2. PARIS ST. GRUYERE - 20pts.
3. DYNAMO BRIEV - 18pts.
4. NACHOS LAGUNA - 18pts.
5. PARMA SAN FC - 14pts.
6. AEK FETA - 12pts.
7. WEST HAM & CHEESE UNITED - 10pts.
8. MONTREAL IMPACT - 7pts.
9. LIMBURGER SV - 5pts.
10. MONTERREY JACK - 2pts. (Deducted 10 points for match slicing)
 
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "REDS DO JACK AS IMPACT BRIE(S) TO VICTORY"

1 comment:

  1. Very nice. Hopefully TFCheese will not stink up the place like a big chunk of limburger.

    ReplyDelete