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Tuesday, September 2, 2014

THE MATCHUP: Rocky times


PHILADELPHIA VS. TORONTO
PPL PARK - WEDNESDAY 7PM ET
TV: TSN 2

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The Ivan Drago Testimonial Match"

FACTS* AND STATS**
PHILADELPHIA UNION
- "High": Percentage chance that Maurice Edu will hurt TFC.
- 4: The Rocky sequel that is our greatest guilty pleasure.
- 50/50: Average chance of surviving a night match trip to Chester, Pennsylvania.
- 12: Amount of pounds a cheesesteak outweighs a chip butty by.
- "Not that one": Most popular answer to "Oh, Fred plays for Philadelphia?"
- 7 or 8: About the time when The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air "pulled up to a house"
- "BIMBO" continues to be the most hilariously awesome MLS kit sponsor.

TORONTO FC
- 0:  Minutes Greg Vanney has managed a professional team.
- 90: Minutes left in Greg Vanney's "honeymoon period".
- 100: Percent chance that Ashtone Morgan still exists.
- 14: The maximum age of player that new assistant coach Nick Theslof was coaching until a few days ago.
- 0: Percent chance of Jermain Defoe seeing out his TFC contract.
- Two separate fourteen hour round trips to London, England in one month are shockingly not the most common re-hab practice when nursing a chronically injured groin.
- 30: Points left on the board for TFC. Counting down from now...


Possibly*
Maybe**

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